I guess this is part two of my confessions as a caregiver to my mom, while also being a single, unemployed mom myself.

One question I’ve been struggling with lately is:
“Lord… am I just put on this earth to serve?”

I mean… my love language is serving, I guess. That would explain why I often feel taken for granted. And yet deep down it still fulfills me in some strange, sacred way.

This caregiver role has worn me out and built me up. It’s broken me and taught me, all at the same time. My mom isn’t always the most reasonable. Her tone, her requests they can be relentless. Some days it feels like she needs to carry a bell and just ring it.

So I ask God again:
“Am I really just here to serve?”

Because honestly? I don’t think anyone has ever served me the way I’ve served others.

But then I think about my childhood…
I stayed up under my grandmother a woman who was, without a doubt, a true servant. She found joy in it. She babysat, cleaned, cooked, and cared for just about everyone in the family, all from the kindness of her heart. I remember when my papa, her stepfather got sick after our great-grandmother passed. She stepped right in, no hesitation. She cooked his breakfast every morning, managed his pills, dropped off his clothes at the cleaners, and prepped his dinners for the week.

It wasn’t just what she did. It was who she was.

My grandmother was beautiful, inside and out.
(And if you know me, you already know I’m crying just writing about her.)

And now, here I am… sitting in her old room, asking God the same question I’ve been wrestling with. And He answered me, not gently, but like a brick to the heart.

“Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.” – Matthew 20:28

Whew. Jesus.
The same Jesus who died for us… loved us deeply… walked this earth without ever demanding royal treatment. He came to serve.
He washed feet, healed the sick, spoke with compassion, and spent time with the overlooked and rejected.

Now don’t get it twisted,I’m not saying I’m Jesus.
But when you ask God, “Less of me and more of You,” don’t be surprised when He answers like… this. When He starts molding you to look like Him in the hard ways, not just the easy ones.

We are called to love and give without expecting anything back.
And that’s why He also says:

“Let us not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time, we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” – Galatians 6:9

Life doesn’t always look like what we imagined.
I never thought I’d be here, raising two kids and caregiving alone.
But every single day, God gives me the strength to do it.

It’s not glamorous.
It often feels unseen and under appreciated.
But God sees every single act of love, and that’s what matters.

So yes… I guess I am a servant.
Not just to my mother, not just to my kids, not just to the people I love,
but to God.

And that makes this calling holy.